I get a lot of shit for writing about my personal life. It particularly becomes a point of tension with potential dates, people who are interested in me, or ex boyfriends.
"Don't write about this!"
"I guess I better be careful unless you put me in your blog"
"That's so embarrassing, why would you put that online?"
I don't want to be rude, but 90% of my daily life and dates and interactions with people are so fucking dull. Think bout it, do you think people want to hear about all the perfectly pleasant but ultimately uninteresting dates I go on?
Nah.
People want drama, they want to commiserate with the fact that awkward situations and embarrassing moments are happening outside their own lives.
I acknowledge that I'm a special kind of person, that doesn't feel a lot of shame or see the issue with being honest and upfront. I understand that people don't understand why I do this stuff.
Honestly you know why I do this?
Because it's funny.
Making people laugh, even if it's at my own poor misfortune, is the best feeling ever.
If I don't share these stories, I'm pretty sure they will fester in my brain like a parasite and I'll end up crazier than I actually am.
But where's the line. Do I actually share too much online? Do people think this is inappropriate?
(I don't really care)
I thought about all the weird stuff that's happened to me over the years and I thought about just how much awful shit happens in the world, especially to women, and I realised that sharing these stories make them mine. It makes it okay for other people to talk about their weird adventures or awful dates, or the time they too got stuck in some underwear in Victorias Secret.
My life is messy as fuck, and my instagram makes it look much more put together than it actually is. Life is hilarious and not at all curated and fuck it.
In the spirit of over sharing, the following things have happened to me and I probably shouldn't tell you:
- I once went on what I thought was a date, turns out it was a pyramid scheme pitch. I had to pay for my own coffee.
- One time during sex, Deep Heat was used instead of lube by accident and it resulted in me sitting in the shower with the cold spray on my vag for about 20 minutes. 1/10 would not recommend.
- I have on more than one occasion sent risque snapchats to the wrong person, and also put them on my story accidentally. I'm very sorry to everyone that saw that.
- Asked someone to hold my bag for a minute at New York Fashion Week, and turned out to be one of the models. She still did it.
- Got called fat directly after sex with a person I was dating, then proceeded to hit him straight in the balls. I still don't think this was an over reaction but he did.
- Accidentally went backstage at a gig instead of the toilets and got kicked out angrily by a very large bouncer lady in front of the whole gig.
- Threw up on the floor of my parents house then proceed to pass out with full face paint on and my contacts in.
The point i'm trying to make is this: Sorry but I'm not sorry.
You're reading this, you must be okay with it. Thanks!
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